


Regrettable

by MxTrashTM



Series: G-Man oneshots [1]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Benrey (mentioned) - Freeform, Bubby (mentioned) - Freeform, Dr Coomer (mentioned), Gen, Gordon feetman (mentioned), Oneshot, i am new to Ao3 please help, idk how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:46:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24941794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MxTrashTM/pseuds/MxTrashTM
Summary: G-man realizes he regrets things.Good.
Series: G-Man oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805167
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	Regrettable

**Author's Note:**

> These are storys I rip directly from my rp twitter.  
> Some of them can be party inspired from rps.  
> My G-Man is purely based on HCs as I've only seen the HLVRAI series.  
> Some of these will be "in character" 4 gman but I gotta make him sad in other ways sometimes, y'know.

There's a lot of regret in the things you do.  
At first, everything was normal, it was the way of life, as expected to be.  
You had a son.  
You let him free.  
You didn't regret it.  
It was how things should be  
Growning up without parents is...  
What is meant to happen.

So many things are meant to happen.  
Maybe it was unfair in some eyes.  
But you aren't human.  
Emotions aren't befitting of you.  
Emotions is not what a business man has.  
It is  
A human thing.  
You are not  
Human.  
It is not functional to have emotions.  
You are not human.

Humans are fragile.  
Humans wish they had the power you possessed.  
You are better than humans.  
That's why you observe them.  
You do not interact.  
It is beneath you.  
Humans are weak.  
Pathetic, even.  
They are unable to fight back against such a powerful force.  
They require help

That is your job.  
To pity them.  
To help them.  
To use them.  
But...

Emotions could be something you possess.  
Your employers don't deny your right.  
They just recommend and prevent.  
You've grown attached.  
To this existence.  
It is.  
Nice.  
These feelings.

Nice?  
You barely understand.  
But you do.  
Fully.  
Your composure has been slipping recently.  
You never stand up striaght anymore.  
You fiddle with your suit and tie.  
And you  
Feel...  
You feel...  
It feels...  
How can people handle these negative emotions?  
Humans should be praised.

Guilt.  
You shouldn't feel it.  
Your son  
He was meant to be left behind.  
You made sure he had a good life.  
You didn't want to interfere.  
You feared that would ruin him.  
Now you fear speaking to him.  
Do you deserve to know him?  
After all, it's been so long.

But he...  
He still acts like nothing's wrong.  
He loves you.  
His father.  
But you feel  
As if he's just pretending.  
You wish you could say something  
But seeing him upset?  
A fate worse than death.  
Emotional hell  
That's what you'd describe  
The feelings you've felt

Your son Tommy was the first to make you feel emotions  
First to make you feel human  
And it was hell  
And it was painful  
And it was fine  
You love your son  
He means the universe to you  
You fear that he does not see that  
You fear he feels you feel nothing

You do nothing to resolve that  
You may feel emotions but you are not one for expressing them  
You are still not human  
You wonder what it is like  
And if it is nice

You also feel guilt for your dismissal of his friends

A good father should like his son's friends.  
You respect the two older doctors, but barely give them much thought.  
The entity know as benry is unusual and impossible, you have a distaste for him. But he is your son's best friend.  
Mr Freeman...

Your employers...  
They require that you do not care.  
You could try.  
You feel it is wrong.  
You should not question your employers  
But  
Mr Freeman being used as a tool.  
That is wrong.  
The entity having to be resolved.  
That is wrong.  
Opportunities always present themselves

What your employers plan can proceed without this manipulation.  
Gordon wishes for a normal and happy human life  
Your employers do not wish for that.  
But things can be changed without harm.  
The entity is unpredictable but can be reasonable  
Things could change.

The scientists...  
Your employers have interests in them too  
You wish to change that  
Otherwise they will not be happy too  
You wish for them to be happy  
For your son's sake

No.  
You should wish for their sakes  
They deserve it

You wonder what it is like to be human

Could you be human, in a way?  
Maybe one day  
You are taking progressive steps.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!!! Please give me advice on how to tag things if they're a bit fucked up!!


End file.
